1.According to Memnochminster no-one forces you to have any character in your party. You'll miss some interesting dialogue, and possibly some experience, but then most of the characters have their own quests/interesting dialogue anyway, so nothing is new there.
I'd advise taking Imoen when she's on offer, but don't stress if you really don't want to. Maybe just keep her until she finds that which is missing. (Cryptic so it won't spoil. You'll know what I mean at the time)
2. Jahiera will leave the party but not for very long. She is a very loyal character and will find you even if you're the over the other side of Amn from where she left.
3. Gauntlets of Dext. are in the Ghoul 'City" you mentioned. Don't know about the ring of sorcery
4.a)The secret purple door in the sewers? If you mean the one near the entrance from the temple district, next to a party that attacks on sight, that can't be opened until you complete a mission for Lord Jierden Firkraag, who resides in the Copper Coronet. You'll find the 'sewer key' on an old enemy. (Again won't spoil) This gives access to the mind flayer rooms you were referring to. If you mean after the tomb with the old blind man - that's an exit for later in the quest.
4.b)The Ghoul's city is accessed by doing the unseeing eye quest in the correct succession. You mentioned you killed everything or something?
You need to talk to Ghaal near the entrance to the Cultists lair in the LOWER sewers and he'll ask you to do something for him. Follow the quest and talk to people and you'll find it. I won't say more in case I spoil.
Reply back if you need more info, or to let me know if some of this helps or not.
Have fun
Yorick
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