If you have a decent intelligence you can get out of having to sleep with Phaere by telling her you're already taken by some other handmaiden. Maybe try drinking mind-boosting potions beforehand, you can buy them from a drow merchant if you don't have any. If it doesn't work, and you end up in Phaere's bed, Aerie's romance is over, but if you say the right thing to Jaheira, she won't care. Then again, perhaps you need a good intelligence for that, as well.
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