Do you have a +2 or better weapon? That could be your problem. I don't remember ever having trouble with him. I used a Longsword +1 and a Flame Blade +1 I believe. I had other characters backing me up with +2 weapons and the such. I was a lvl 10 Ranger when I completed the Shade Lord quest.
You could try the old dragon trick and get a disentegrate scroll OR a flesh to stone scroll and just turn him into a giant statue or cremate him. Either way would probably work. Or if that doesn't work, you could just add Debug Mode=1 in your Baldur.ini file in your Baldur's Gate II - SoA subdirectory and use the key combination Ctrl + Y and it will instantly kill him. Although I don't approve that method, because you get in a REAL habit for using it on EVERYTHING. But, for a one time thing, if you JUST CAN'T kill it and don't feel like coming back...
You COULD even wait and come back at later levels. Get high level and come back with that Holy Avenger +5 and just whoop down. I GUARANTEE you can kill him with the Casomyar. There is no doubt in my mind. Anyways, I hope that helped!
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