A pig? Jan Jansen's the most underrated NPC in the game, and he's the bloody funniest, too. And just to prove it for you, here's a clip from one of his Jan Moments (patent applied).
Jan: I was recently reminded of my ex brother-in-law, Burt Wunderkind, fabulous griffin-baiter.
Aerie: A... A griffin baiter?
Jan: Yes, of course. It's something of a cottage industry amongst Amnish gnomes. Quite simple, I've heard. You merely tame a couple of wyverns and WHOOSH, tear through the sky to fling insults at the hapless griffins.
Aerie: Oh, I didn't think you could tame a wyvern.
Jan: Really? Everyone I know has a pet wyvern. Taming wyverns is child's play, literally. As children, we'd tame wyverns. It's easy since they have such an affinity for turtles. Back in the old days it used to rain turtles on even days and frogs on odd days.
Aerie: Why, that's ridiculous!
Jan: That's what I thought until the drought hit. There were ornery wyverns everywhere. After a rich diet of turtle mash, you couldn't expect them to merely accept bacon without eating a few human nobles, now, could you?
Jan: Of course, by then, Burt was such successful griffin baiter that the authorities just couldn't find it in their hearts to make us leash the wyverns. The loss of the noble class is truly a small price to pay to maintain the continuity of such a fine sport. There's nothing like the look of incredulity on a griffin's face to keep one's spirits up.
I renew my opinion - the best NPC in the game.
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