There is an extremely simple solution to this problem. MP is slower because it runs all controls through the protocol you selected first (IPX, TCP etc) which introduces a small delay which is especially noticable when you want to instantly pause the action. Solution? Go to your BG2/mpsave directory. Copy the save into your BG2/save directory. Play the game as normal single player with your homemade party at full speed. If you're actually playing over a network with other players then the delay is unavoidable, but if you are just using MP to play with your own designed characters then I strongly recommend you do the above.
Welcome to the board by the way.
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