Ooooooh yes, give me all the cheesy, fantasy-by-numbers crap out there. If it's mildly *cough*erotic*cough* so much the better. Come to think of it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink 
) I seem to remember some really dire fantasy from way back in the dim mists of time. I think it was all about some barbarian called Gor........ [img]graemlins/crazyeyes.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]DON'T TELL ME YOU READ THAT WHEN YOU WERE A KID TOO!!!! 
Actually, wait a minute...I read those when *I* was a kid, and that was only 15 years ago, so how old were you...? [img]tongue.gif[/img] </font>[/QUOTE]Actually, some of the Gor books finally achieved readability. Priest-Kings of Gor is thew only one I actually
own, but that is quite far into the series, and by then he was looking for far-out ideas. The storyline is rather whacked, but the writing style is good, and that makes it readable.
Oh, but Dancer of Gor is so bad it made me want to vomit.
Gygax is absolutely awful. the man lacks the slightest ability to write, imho. Give him any important event, soul-stirring moment of history to describe, and he will destroy it by having the main characters exclaiming,
"What did you just say mate?"
"I I
said that we are about to bebeset by some demons, Gord!"
"Oh, i didn't hear you because i was picking this dung off my foot."
"Yes, Gord, but don't you think we should be worried about this demon lord here?"
I think it's how he tries to attain some kind of lifelike banter, but all he does is suck every last ounce of atmosphere from the encounter.
Sea of Death was totally ruined by this type of dross.
As to the one I actually think is the worst fantasy book ever? I agree with Johnny, but seeing as people want a more socially acceptable answer than
the bible, I'll plump for ......
are you ready ... ?
it is
Warblade (Konrad vol 3)
And my reasoning? It is an absolutely fantastic book. Based on the warhammer fantasy setting, the Konrad trilogy is absolutely fantastically written. it has a great storyline, and the quality of the writing is superb. You ruch through book 1 - Great! Book 2 - brilliant! Book 3 (Warblade) - Exceptional! But wait!
What's the problem?
Warblade consists of 300 pages of thrilling adventure, and then ... just before the grand finale, just befroe we are about to find out the very core premise of the books, just as the intricate workings of the plot are about to weave together into a perfectly crafted work of art ... it ends! It ends, right there! Right before the climax. The whole trilogy takes you up to the crashing finale and ... stops! Right there, it just ends! With one of the most banal, uninformative sentences ever written in the history of literature.
ARGH!
I think it was the first time i actually cried tears of frustration over *anything*, let alone a book. I felt robbed!
So, there you go. My nomination - Warblade, by David Ferring.
Oh, and please notice - Warblade, a fantasy book filled with death, blood spurting everywhere, demon monsters and large, terrifying battles is classified by amazon as a "children's book" because it is fantasy. Like I said in a thread in GD - mainstream thinks 'fantasy' = 'fairy tale' = 'children's bedtime story'. Hacks me off, that does.
[ 04-12-2003, 07:52 PM: Message edited by: Bardan the Slayer ]