Whailor,
You're exactly right about the henchmen in NWN. At first, it annoyed me terribly not being able to control them, but then I started thinking, "this is what NPCs are suppose to do."
You're also right about the AI of henchmen(and AI in general), which is why I've recommended
Pausanias's henchmen upgrade. It allows you to do all the things you mentioned in your post
through conversation with your henchmen just like normal, only there are more options.
It's super easy to install, too. All you do is backup your override folder and then install. If you don't like it, restore your override folder, and there's no harm done. [img]smile.gif[/img]