THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER

Sazerac · 09-10-2001, 05:31 PM

THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER

Sazerac, Editor
In circulation since January, 2001

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Gentle Readers,

No one enjoys planning for that fateful day when we must all shuttle off this "mortal coil" and embrace the hereafter. When Fate strikes, it's reassuring to know that one has a trustworthy friend. Bersault Mortuary has been in the business of providing quality, caring funeral services for the past three centuries; yes, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes, when that day comes with the inevitable loss of your loved ones, one may often find oneself unprepared. Making important decisions now can save you time and effort later. Come to us today to speak with our preplanning specialists to assist you and your family with any special *ahem*...arrangements.

We at Bersault Mortuary do our jobs so well, that not only are all our dead successfully interred, we guarantee that they will return to life! No more fear of the afterlife, my children! Yes, yes, yes!

Our elaborate crypt is custom-made for any sort of arrangements for the afterlife! Its stately and fully habitable quarters will bring joy to the hearts of any who wish to provide their loved ones with...perpetual care.

You see, we at Bersault Mortuary specialize in making sure that Death is but a farce, and that life is eternal! We have several pre-arranged packages for you to consider. Here are a few of them*:

Skeletal Form.....£100
Spectral Form .....£150
Apparition Form.....£200 (ask Rumphy, one of our best customers!)
Banshee Form.....£250
Zombie Form.....£300
Crypt Lord Form.....£400
Spectral Warrior.....£500

*-Swords and armor must be provided by the families of the interred. No exceptions.

Yes, yes, yes, the possibilities are endless, my friends! Think of being able to live forever, never having to worry about sorrow or old age ever again! We guarantee eternal life at Bersault Mortuary. Do pay us a visit soon. We're located within the Valeia crypt, easily accessible with one rat pie. Yes, yes, yes.

Come talk to me, Scabban, the director, or one of my four assistants (if I can find the rotters, yes, yes, yes!) about your own plan for the afterlife. If you wish, we can arrange every thing to your liking on your first visit...you need never leave again! Yes, yes, yes! Ahahahahah!!!!

Remember us before it is too late! Yes, yes, yes!

"Where we love the dead so much, we bring them back to Life!"

-Scabban, Funeral Director.

__________________________________________________ _____________________________

The preceding has been a paid advertisement of a Gael Serran Examiner sponsor, and, as such, does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff of the Gael Serran Examiner.

Keep watching for updates to the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW!

-Sazerac, Editor

[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 09-10-2001).]

09-10-2001, 05:31 PM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 61 Posts: 7,387	THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER Sazerac, Editor In circulation since January, 2001 SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION Gentle Readers, No one enjoys planning for that fateful day when we must all shuttle off this "mortal coil" and embrace the hereafter. When Fate strikes, it's reassuring to know that one has a trustworthy friend. Bersault Mortuary has been in the business of providing quality, caring funeral services for the past three centuries; yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, when that day comes with the inevitable loss of your loved ones, one may often find oneself unprepared. Making important decisions now can save you time and effort later. Come to us today to speak with our preplanning specialists to assist you and your family with any special ahem...arrangements. We at Bersault Mortuary do our jobs so well, that not only are all our dead successfully interred, we guarantee that they will return to life! No more fear of the afterlife, my children! Yes, yes, yes! Our elaborate crypt is custom-made for any sort of arrangements for the afterlife! Its stately and fully habitable quarters will bring joy to the hearts of any who wish to provide their loved ones with...perpetual care. You see, we at Bersault Mortuary specialize in making sure that Death is but a farce, and that life is eternal! We have several pre-arranged packages for you to consider. Here are a few of them: Skeletal Form.....£100 Spectral Form .....£150 Apparition Form.....£200 (ask Rumphy, one of our best customers!) Banshee Form.....£250 Zombie Form.....£300 Crypt Lord Form.....£400 Spectral Warrior.....£500 -Swords and armor must be provided by the families of the interred. No exceptions. Yes, yes, yes, the possibilities are endless, my friends! Think of being able to live forever, never having to worry about sorrow or old age ever again! We guarantee eternal life at Bersault Mortuary. Do pay us a visit soon. We're located within the Valeia crypt, easily accessible with one rat pie. Yes, yes, yes. Come talk to me, Scabban, the director, or one of my four assistants (if I can find the rotters, yes, yes, yes!) about your own plan for the afterlife. If you wish, we can arrange every thing to your liking on your first visit...you need never leave again! Yes, yes, yes! Ahahahahah!!!! Remember us before it is too late! Yes, yes, yes! "Where we love the dead so much, we bring them back to Life!" -Scabban, Funeral Director. __________________________________________________ _____________________________ The preceding has been a paid advertisement of a Gael Serran Examiner sponsor, and, as such, does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff of the Gael Serran Examiner. Keep watching for updates to the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW! -Sazerac, Editor [This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 09-10-2001).]