You CAN kill Sarellia (quite easily by the way).
When she dies, she will drop her glowstone, so you should check if it's on the ground anywhere near the grate. The grate itself you can click on to open after S. passed away.
Kol on the other hand seems impervious to all damage I was able to inflict on him, at the temple as well as at the first encounter in dragon spire.
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