I had this probelm the first time through but not the second. The only thing I done different the second time was when talking to D'sotos ghost in Shurugeon ruins at the end after defeting (can't remember hes name now the big red dude who you give the face of evil to) he said to me elseramavin, where as in the first game I left before he said that. So I think this may be where the bug is that you have to let D'soto say elseramavin to you there for it to be in your word selection at dragon spire.
If nothing works try going back to shurugeon ruins, if D'soto is still there you may be able to get him to say it and then try the dragon again.
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