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Old 02-18-2001, 04:52 PM   #12
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With respect to that speach button on the Lysandra of Yur (AMerican pronounciation of your there ?) one slight alteration is neccessary,

the speach button is a secret bonus that is concealed within the doll (did I say doll? I meant naff Sinead O'Connor lookalike) and can only be reached and activated with the Tusk of Lust (tm). Appropriate lubricants are supplied with the Tusk of Lust (tm) but the doll might spontaneously produce some (or reproduce if it has already recieved such) when provoked into doing so by the accessory.The Hanbag of Death (one handed weapon) is supplied separately.

Stout Warrior action figure, comes complete with chainmail armour,a helmet with a candle on top,a caged canary, a battle axe, a war hammer, a crossbow (and rat pie amunition x 6, additional packs can be bought from any reasonally disreputable toy shop/ armoury) and severe alcoholic tendencies. The secret voice button (located in the back of the throat and activated by the insertation of a rat pie (or the tusk of lust if your realy perverted)) cause the model to roar a hideous battle cry "I do love a taste of Rat!" and go into a berserk trading frenzy. Also when left unatended walks stomps around collecting any assorted junk (unidentified short swords are a real favourite) and sells it to the fridge (repository of all supplies in the house) in exchange for food and beer.

Oh, I almost forgot, Adam Mage, they don't say that, it's "This one thinks he's a hero" I should know, I've heard it often enough.When facing a single woman or pack of fem's it will still pronounce these deadly phrases (p.s. has anyone ever seen more than three of these dimwitted fellows together, I haven't yet, maybe Saz'll stick something about their short sightedness and inferiority complex (maybe their hinting that there's more of them hiding in the bushes with bows, maybe their mates did a runner and left them to deal with the psycopaths/ heros heading their way).
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