you should get the option to take aerie as soon as you change her from the ogre
the 'cannot initiate' bug is well known and fixed by the latest patch - see the forum FAQ for details of where to get the latest patch and the baldurdash fixpack while you're at it
i'm not sure but you might need to talk to the mother again after you kill kallah to get the XP off the boy - you certainly get XP off the mother if you talk to her again
happy patchin'
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