Quote:
Originally posted by Illumina Drathiran'ar:
Dundee, that was pure poetry. Surely you must have achieved some higher state of awareness.
(Anyone quoting Airplane! will be glared at.)
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"So, Haer'Dalis...have you ever been inside a Amnish prison???"
(thank goodness for spell turning...bounces glare rays right back...)
you forgot the worst part, Dundee...right at that moment Jan decides to tell you about his nephew Dufus Jansen...and his goat like habits...
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Jan: You know, dear sweet lass, those idiots remind me of my nephew Dufus Janssen. He was poor laddie, the most backward gnome you would ever meet. He would try to drink beer with his ear, because he kinda had problems when he was a child with his Mr. Turnip Head. Poor laddie always got the mouth and ears confused. Anyway, he and his Brother Bart Janssen, poor laddie was about as backward as Dufus...got into their noggins the notion of being bandits! So they got some dwarven platemail, and started robbing people on the Trademeet road. Now you understand that to a fighting gnome, the best target against the taller races is the knees and feet and toes, right lassie? This is why the traditional gnomish warcry is "Your knees are mine!!!" Poor Dufus and Bart never did have a way with words, so they would shorten the war cry when they robbed people. So they became "The Gnomes who say Knee!"
Nalia: Urm, so what did they steal? I mean I don't remember any reports of bandits along the Trademeet road recently...
Jan: Well, Dufus, I told you he was backwards, didn't I, lassie? Well, he somehow developed a taste for ornamental flora. He used to resemble a goat when he started to chew on evergreen trees and small bushes. So he and his brother demanded shrubbery from their victims. Poor laddie, it finally did him in. He died happier than a dung beetle in a dragon lair when he hijacked a huge shipment of shrubbery imported from tethry for the Jesslev estate. Sad story...