"I took great pleasure at telling Trax to go... To go committ a physically impossible sexual act to himself"
i think the phrase you're looking for is...
"attempt a physiologically impossible act of self-impregnation"...
one of my favorite phrases.. 
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Jansens aren\'t as harmless like everybody supposes! <br />They got them stumpy legs and puffy potato noses! <br />And what\'s with all the turnips? <br />Why do they eat so much root vegetables, anyway? <br />Jansens, Jansens,<br />It must be Jansens!!!<br />(or griffins!)
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