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My favorites:
Top Ten Signs You Just Met the Main Bad Guy, #9: The bad guy keeps Elminster in a cage, and occasionally pokes him with a fork.
Top Ten Spells That Never Made It, #2: Power Word: Fart.
Top Ten Signs You Play Too Much ADnD, #4: You've been surviving so long on Doritos, Coke, and pizza that your body now contains more plastic than your dice. (Scary thing is, I know people like this!)
Top Ten Signs Your DM is Too Easy, #3: The phrase "Oh geez, what do I need with another +5 vorpal longsword" is used during game play. (Hmm, maybe they're playing BG2?)
Top Ten Signs Your DM is Too Easy, #8: The party is dividing treasure. The fighter says "Ok, who wants the staff of the magi? Anybody? Anyone at all? Ok, we leave it leaning against a tree stump." (Okay, now I know they're playing BG2.)
Top Ten Signs Your DM is Too Hard, #7: Somehow you've done it. Your party has slain Emberburn, the most fearsome and powerful Red Dragon the DM has ever created. The DM stares at you in shock, still staring down at the "1" he rolled on the dragon's last attack. After poking him in the arm for five minutes, chanting "horde....horde.....horde...." over and over, he looks up at you. The look of surprise fades, and an evil grin replaces it. "As it happens," the DM says with glee, "the dragon had cast project image just before the party entered the cavern...".
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