[VulcanRider]

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK JEDI IF...

* your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.

* You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

* At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

* There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

* You think that the Stormtroopers Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.

* A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

* You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.

* Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"

* You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

* You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

* You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

* The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

* Wookies are offended by your B.O.

* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

* You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.

* Your landspeeder has a bumper sticker that reads, "You can have my lightsaber when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!"

* Your R2 unit has beer on tap.

* You're itchin' for your next hunting trip to the forest moon of Endor so you can "bag your limit" of Ewoks.

* You find out your girlfriend is your sister.
...And you've still got the hots for her.
...And you tell Han, "Beat it buddy, I saw her first."

* You think it's OK to use Federation landing craft to flush game.

* You've ever said, "It's about damn TIME Amidala got married! Hell, she's nearly fifteen!"

* Your favorite pod racer's name is "Dale".

* You think "Demolition Pod Racing" is the next big sport.

* You've ever left the body panels off your protocol droid because, "I'd just have to take 'em off again to adjust somethin'."

* You've ever used a double-barreled lightsaber.

* Your name is "Bubba Fett".