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My view is that games and real life are completely separate things. Especially fantasy games such as Baldur's Gate and the like, you can hardly call the combat in this kind of games realistic. Although I must admit it's a bit different for games like, for example, Wolfenstein, but even there I would say that what you do in the game doesn't reflect on or interact with your real life in any way.
Of course, if you're totally against violence, like you are, the issue is a different one. I can understand your dilemma, though I wouldn't have an answer to it.
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