[Gangrell]

Buddy of mine is a big Chuck Norris fan, so I thought I'd look up some jokes for him.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendys.

When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he once impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the Himalaya mountains. 9 months later, the nuns all gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in NFL history.

When the Boogeyman goes to bed he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

As an infant, Chuck Norris’ parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

When Chuck Norris urinates, he is capable of welding titanium.