[Felix The Assassin]

Got this from my official e-mail.

Important info on the Stimulus Payment
>
> "This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic
> Stimulus Payment.
> This is a very exciting new program that I will
> explain using the Q and A format:
> "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
> "A. It is money that the federal government
> will send to taxpayers.
> "Q. Where will the government get this money?
> "A. From taxpayers.
> "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
> "A. Only a smidgen.
> "Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
> "A. The plan is that you will use the money
> to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
> "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
> "A. Shut up."
> Below is some helpful advice on how to best help
> the US economy
> by spending your stimulus check wisely:
>
> If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the
> money will go to China .
>
> If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
>
> If you purchase a computer it will go to India or China .
>
> If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go
> to Mexico , Honduras ,
> and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
>
> If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
>
> If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .
>
> And none of it will help the American economy.
>
> We need to keep that money here in America .
> You can keep the money in America by spending it
> at yard sales,
> going to a baseball game, or spend it on
> prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY),
> or tattoos, since those are the only businesses
> still in the US .