[Dave_the_quack]

Originally Posted by Yorick Hi Dave, I have agree with Cerek. When I came out of my Mum's womb, I wasn't ready to go poking either females OR males. My sexuality DEVELOPED as I grew. There will always be nature/nurture arguments, and perhaps sexuality has elements of both. But being born with a predisposition is not the same thing as being "born homosexual".

Hi back, Yorick. Yes - my sexuality has grown as I have. Just like my bones. And yet I couldn't dictate how my bones were going to end up, just like my lack of control over where I'd end up with my sexual orientation.

Additionally, what about bisexuals? There's certainly choices in bisexuality.

I'm not bisexual, so I can't comment on the choices they may or may not make. I also think it's a completely different kettle of fish (apples and oranges, etc) as the person has the capability to 'swing' either way. In my opinion it doesn't matter who they choose in the end as their partner, as long as they end up happy. Who knows - perhaps your wife may be bisexual. Perhaps my future partner will be. I certainly won't be limiting myself from the pool of people who fall into this category, at any rate. Nor will I judge them. Seeing as neither of us are an expert in this area, perhaps we should leave this be? I'm certainly no expert so I won't be commenting further on this point.

Well I choose to "let others dictate how I should live my life by what is inherently right or wrong in their eyes." It's called: RELATIONSHIP. I choose to self-limit myself and change aspects of my behaviour so that my significant other is not hurt. We constantly live by other's dictates if we choose to live in community. What you're suggesting is that you are an island. Alone in the world, doing what you please regardless of who it hurts or inconveniences.

I can see your point, but on the main I disagree, Yorick. At a high level, you are who you are, and personally I don't like to surround myself with people that do not or cannot take me for who I am. I have many friends who may dislike a specific personality trait about me, and vice versa, but we learn to tolerate, not change each other. I imagine the things you are talking about fall under the category of things you don't mind altering to appease others. (i.e. withholding from farting/burping, cussing, blowing nose at the table, to name a few ). Again, there is a choice involved.

I consider my sexuality something I cannot change, like my skin colour, height etc. Nor do I believe I should HAVE to if indeed I had this choice you seem to think I do. And come on.. an island? Way to overexaggerate my comment for dramatic effect. You may as well have just come out and called me a sociopath. Cheers!

Controlling desire is something that people in committed relationships do all the time. It involves not acting on them yes, but it more importantly involves NOT ENTERTAINING A THOUGHT. It is choosing to direct ones focus.

Sorry Yorick. I do not agree with dealing in absolutes - "not entertaining a thought" seems impossible to me. Individual thoughts come and go all the time, but I control if I share or act on them. We'll have to agree to disagree here.

Commitment in relationships proves we have control over the direction of our desire.

I think this comment needs further refinement before it is completely accurate. I'm sorry, but you don't wake up in the morning and think "today I'm going to desire FEMALE genitalia instead".

Love, true love involves choice Dave. The "feeling" of love (infatuation) comes and goes in a relationship. Sometimes strong, sometimes gone altogether, then back again. But true love has choice. True love is what allows you to choose to forgive a person, to open your heart to the possibility of the feeling of love growing.

Yes Yorick, love does involve choice. But again I feel like you're insinuating you have complete control over the situation. Just because "True Love" involves some level of choice (i.e. choosing not to see a person because they are no good for you, or knowing it just will not work in the long run so you end it early, or giving someone a second chance), does not mean you choose attraction, chemistry, etc.

I'm sorry for being a part in what seems a hijack of this thread everyone!