[Morgeruat]

First of All, this is not intended as a personal attack, merely a recounting, I do not want to personally bash anyone, or have this thread lead to any bashing or personal attacks.

As many of you may or may not know, revruby and I separated last May, I filed for divorce June 12 2006, as well as filing for custody at that time as part of the divorce complaint. There was a great deal of pain and betrayal which I won't go into (pm me if you really want details) but after more than 9 months of ordeal after ordeal the custody hearing was Friday, 23 Feb. about 2 weeks ago I received the guardian ad litem's(a legal guardian posted by the state to determine the best interests of the girls) recommendation based on their own interactions, and the recommendation of the child psychologist who served as our custody evaluator.

"Dr. ***'s report states that Father is 'better able to provide a secure and nurturing environment for the children.' Father described strong attachments to the children and, the report states, there is 'little indication that he felt restricted or isolated in his role as parent.' Additionally, Father's profile suggests that 'he is typically able to deal with his angry emotions in constructive and verbal ways.'
"Mother, on the other hand, 'described her role as a mother as restricting, isolating, and difficult on her physical health... and emphasized that she feels little or no emotional attachment to the children.' The report noets that 'on several occasions, Mother admitted that she is unable to care for the three children and maintain a household.' The overall results of Mother's testing, interview data, and observed behavior with the children suggested that she 'lacks the necessary abilities to meet the responsibilities of a primary caretaker.'"

I had a few witnesses (friends and coworkers who helped during the more difficult times and saw much of what went on) but most of the testimony was that of the psychologist which was far more damning than I could have ever tried to be. At the end, the judge recommended that I enroll in parenting classes, and get a 2 bedroom apartment without a roommate (I currently share a 2 bedroom home with a friend). Assuming I acquire the home by 1 April I will be awarded majority custody of Erilyn, Carol, and Brenna. revruby will have custody every other weekend and on holidays specified in a previous agreement. This has been a huge fight for me, constantly worrying about the well-being of the girls, in tears at their heartbreak, and loving every single moment I have gotten to spend with them, knowing that it isn't even close to being enough.