[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

One of my great joys in life is sitting around the kitchen table, just talking with people. I find that sooner or later, lots of people have a bizarre and interesting story to tell. Something that happened to them, or someone they care about. So I invite you all to my kitchen table to entertain and enlighten. Give a story, and in turn receive. I want to be compelled and amazed with what's floating around Ironworks, and I know I can't be the only one. So let me start, and we'll see where this goes... I think it can be an interesting twist on "Getting to know you" type threads.

I've been doing yoga since seventh grade. I had often lamented the fact that lots of people had gone to summer camp, and so when I found out there was a yoga camp at the Sivananda Yoga Ashram in Val Morin, Quebec, I was thrilled. (Side note: The phrase, "This one time at yoga camp" attracts much more attention than "This one time at band camp). I packed my things and did yoga in the mountains for a month, and absolutely loved it. The following year, I was too old to participate in camp, but they invited me back to be a camp counselor. It turned out to be one of the most lovely and positive experiences I ever had.

The following year, I was invited back. Having made the trip twice now, my parents put me on the Amtrak train by myself. It was all planned out... I had identification, a notarized letter from my parents saying that they were aware I was leaving the country and had their permission, a letter from the camp, the works. I hopped on the train and of course headed to the snack car, as there's no better place to meet interesting people than on an Amtrak snack car on a long trip.

Shortly after we passed the border, the Canadian immigration people came aboard, as I knew they would. They made their way down the cars, asking people why they were coming to Canada, checking ID, the usual stuff. It was a fairly laid-back process, so I was fairly unconcerned when it was my turn to be interviewed. I was so tired at that point (I hadn't slept the night before) that I made the fatal mistake of revealing too much detail. When they found out that I was working with children, they asked the question that haunts me to this very day:

"Can I see your medical records, please? We need evidence of your tuberculosis vaccination."
"What?"
"It's a newer law. People coming to the country to work with children need immunization records."
"Well, I got it. Nobody told me about this."
"Come with me, please."

And there I was, doing the Walk of Shame up the cars, dragging my large bags behind me. They put me in the back of a police vehicle and pretty much arrested me. After a half-hour interview, they determined that I wasn't a threat, and released me. On the Canadian border, with $10 on me and no credit cards or cell phone. They were at least gracious enough to let me use the phone at the border office, and I made the call that every mother dreads.

"Hi, Mom. Guess what?"
"You got arrested?" My mother has the demented humor that I have, and thought she was kidding. An hour of phone conversation, and we came to the realization that I was indeed stranted seven hours from home at the ripe old age of 14. Great.

After some wheedling and arranging, they put me on a Greyhound bus headed back to New York. I ended up sitting next to a very large man with very large body odor who took up his seat and half of mine, unable to understand that no, I didn't want to talk about why I was there and please let me sleep. To my credit, I never freaked out or lost my composure. Seventeen hours later, I was back in Penn Station... Dirty, exhausted, and frustrated. I got home and slept until the next day.

Looking back on it, I'm glad things worked out the way I did. We did an icebreaker once that had us all write down a fact about themselves and then pick randomly, guessing who had which fact. Nobody ever guesses that Illumina was arrested by border police. I even wrote the story in my college admissions essay. A month at yoga camp is priceless, but not as good as a story, I think.

Who's next? It doesn't have to involve Brushes With The Law (though they're always fun), but I'm curious to see what's happened to you all.