My car broke down on saturday. Not because of engine trouble, battery, fuel or any of the usual stuff. Instead it was a small shaft that links the mechanical/electrical components of the ignition barrel. Basically, turning the key didn't activate the electrics.
Wasn't really a big deal at the time, as it was only a 5 min walk from home and 100m to my work. So i got a mate to tow it to the workshop, and then promptly forgot about it until tuesday. As you do. Nothing ever breaks down on a weekday. (And as it happens, monday was a public holiday) Come tuesday, i isolated the problem on my lunchbreak and picked up a replacement part that afternoon. $50 (plus GST! Not a bargain) bought me a brand spankin' new ignition barrel. The guy i bought it from basically told me to get a pro to install it and i can see the merit in this. Usually i would, as stuffing around with cars just isn't my thing. But i'm stubborn, so i ignored him. And anyway, i've only just finished being ripped off $1500 by the mechanic next door for maintenance that, in retrospect, i could have done myself. Yeah, i was gonna do this thing. Out of principal if nothing else.
What a puzzle! I've never seen the inside of any key/lock mechanism, let alone assembled one. So i was a bit surprised when i opened the box and saw dozens of wafer thin, flat tumblers and just as many tiny little springs. Apparently this wasn't gonna be so easy. But i sat down and sifted through it all and eventually worked out the mechanics of it. (I've a new found respect for locksmiths!) A little while after that, using trial and error, i mapped out the positions of each of the tumblers according to my car key and had the whole thing assembled, ready to install. It turned out to be easier than the guy had led me to believe. It's only fitting that the next step, the bit that i thought would be easy, turned out to be the hardest.
I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to remove the old one! I won't go into too much detail but the three main components that make up the ignition barrel are like pipes that fit neatly inside one another. The two inner pipes are the most complex, with all the tumblers and whatnot and these are the bits that i bought. The outer one (permanently bolted to the steering column) is basically a shell that holds it together and the electrical switch butts onto this. But there were no screws, no bolts, no hint as to the method of removing the inner two. I lost two more lunch hours trying to wrap my head around the problem.
After much pondering, trial and error, i eventually found the solution. Turning the key 120 degrees (two thirds of its rotation) and inserting a tiny Allen key into a semi-hidden orifice releases a catch on the inside, allowing the two inner bits to slide out. Of course! Why didn't i think of that sooner? It's the equivalent of a secret door knock, password and handshake.
Anyway, it wasn't too hard to install after i'd figured out how to remove it and before long i was driving again. Was i King Dick or what? [img]graemlins/cool.gif[/img] I was practically beaming with pride. I was stumped on several occasions but i kept at it, and in the end, i got it! And saved myself from a hefty bill at the same time.
Then i looked over to the passenger seat and saw the old one. The inner-most barrel with the broken shaft protruding "middle finger" like in my direction. Right from tuesday lunchtime, i had known the true problem. Somehow, in my zeal to fix it myself, i had lost sight of the real issue. And when i succeeded, i allowed myself a brief moment to reflect on my accomplishment. But that time was over. I picked it up and looked at it again. The two barrel components were robust enough, i guess, and the stainless gizmos were definitely up to the task. But the shaft, the culprit, was about 30mm long and 3mm thick at its widest. And made from brittle, cast alloy. Alloy designed to break.
The chain, as they say, is only as strong as its weakest link. And this proverbial link couldn't be mended once it broke. It
and the whole kit and kaboodle, had to be replaced. And the unnecessarily difficult installation procedure was designed to prevent would-be DIYers from saving a buck. But i hadn't saved a cent. I'd been robbed $50 (plus GST!) and several lunch hours worth of day dreams. I'd been shafted by some egg-head whose job (with very little satisfaction, i'll wager) is to design components to break after a finite number.
I tossed it on the floor in disgust and pulled into the pub...