[VulcanRider]

Originally posted by Arvon: Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun? No worse than spending the first 2 years of a kid's life teaching him to walk & talk, & the next 16 telling him to sit down & shut up... Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables? Yes. How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color? You're not using enough Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith? Unless they grounded it to the synagogue next door Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade? I'm more worried about where they get the stuff for a Bloody Mary Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck? So people you hate will see it coming Whats a question with no answer called? Political campaigning How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there? First you place the sign, then you plant the grass. When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them? For the same reason a public bathroom only lets you use 1 stall. The average human ain't that wide. If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb? Neither. Just lick your finger, pick 'em both up, and they'll go back together in yer belly "What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?" Leutenant Hook? Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing? Yes--really! Do bald people get dandruff? Yes, usually off the hairy slob next to them Why doesn't baking soda freeze? It comes to Florida for the winter What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes? He'd slap you silly If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty? Nobody knows. They look so disgusting nobody'll eat one. If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee? Technically it comes out of your estate before the family inherits. But just for giggles you could put a line in your will saying "you left the movie in the Blockbuster box to Cousin Edna". Can a person with no ears wear glasses? Now there's 1002 uses for Duct Tape! Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)? The answer's still "yes" Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too? Sure, but they're easy to avoid. When they sneeze you can hear 'em for miles If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop? I don't think they care How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes? They're not? Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach? Sure, they just gotta shove it in a little further Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? Neither, they avoid their mothers, just like Jewish non-vampires Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? It's only cute until somebody gets stabbed by a doll