I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to delete any of his PMs to me now. Seems it's all that remains now and I just want to keep them. I miss our chats, he was so helpful and entertaining to talk to. He never told me right away about his illness, instead he was more interested in helping me with whatever trouble or problem I was dealing with at the time, in our chats. He never said a word. I so wish he did, he really wanted me to play the Undermountain with him and I said I would, eventually. Did not know there was a time limit.
And when he finally did tell me, I was floored and devastated. Did not know what to say. I ended up pushing him for a second opinion, I simply could not accept that there was nothing that could be done. I was so upset and he then replied back to me apologizing he upset me!!!!! Oh man then I felt like crap cause I was just showing my care and did not mean for it to affect him that way. Just goes to show what a nice, unselfish guy he was. It just hit me really hard, I mean he was 36 dammit! 36.
I can't tell yall how sad I've been over this, but unable to speak about it publicly, in respect for him and his privacy. We both watched Overhaulin on The Discovery Channel (or A&E, whatever), and would chat about it in PMs. He was good at pimping out rides himself. He was proud of his rides, and I can't blame him. God to think of us laughing and having fun talking about cars just 6 months ago, and all was just fine... And we kept chatting now and then every few weeks to keep in touch, and it still was fine, far as I knew anyways. He talked about so many things too, but not his illness, he kept that secret from me for some reason for awhile. Again, I am devastated and having a difficult time dealing internally with it all. He was just such a cool guy, such a young guy, I will miss him so much.
God Bless You Animal, I guess Heaven needed another Angel....
[ 03-07-2005, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: ladyzekke ]