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Just two. Not extremely funny so if anyone has got anything better please post.
A human, an elf and a dwarf are adventuring and they reach a lake deep in the woods. The lakes (as many lakes happen to be) is magical. If you run and then jump into the lake and as you jump you shout something the lake becomes full of that.
So the dwarf goes first. He runs, jumps and as he is jumping he shouts "Ale" and the lake is full of ale.
After sometime after the dwarf got out it's the elf's turn. He runs, jumps and shouts "Wine" and the lake is full of wine.
So after the elf got out it's the human's turn. He runs, but as he's about to jump he trips and goes "oh, sh!t ".
***
Somewhere in the north Tempus organizes a contest to see who's the best warrior. After a lot of hard tests only three people reach the finals. A human, an elf and a dwarf. So tempus tells them: In the final you have to do three tasks
_Manage to run through a valley while being fired upon by barbarian archers.
_Shake hand with a big ferocious bear.
_Manage to have sex with a sly old barbarian woman.
The dwarf goes first but as he runs through the valley the arrows get him and he dies.
Next goes the elf. He manages to run through the valley. But as he enters the bear cage the bear kills him immediately.
The human goes then. He runs through the valley. He enters the bear cage. And as he is in, sounds of fighting and struggling can be heard by those outside. After some time the human goes out looking exhausted and shaken up and says: Right, so where is this barbarian woman whose hand I was supposed to shake?
[ 11-19-2004, 03:43 AM: Message edited by: ZFR ]
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ZFR
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