LOL... they're all great Vaskez... but I can answer one of those for you:
Why do you never see in the paper: "Fortune teller wins lottery"
I know this is only meant to be fun, but I have an explanation for that one... anyone wishing to know the explanation, let me know 
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"So many thoughts running through my head, I know what you feel, I know what you dread; When a room's filled with laughter, when a room's filled with lies, you're the only one I know that's in disguise..."
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