Quote:
Originally posted by silencer:
quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:
[...]Why oh why is it a faux pas to say anything about obesity but apparently still totally OK to make remarks about skinniness?[...]
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The typical women's response to a remark about weight - completely overblowing the issue and making it seem like a personal attack. If you would stop and think a second, you would note it was not said in an insulting manner at all, and that using "heavy" in place of would probably not insult a heavy-set person (none I know at least, and neigher would I be). Even the smile at the end undorscores this tenfold. [/QUOTE]Sorry, but I can't agree. In the context, I think Mel's response was justified. She had previously been told she looked like she was pregnant - i.e., her stomach was sticking out. As much as she laughed it off, and good on her for doing so, she should be rightly insulted by that comment. Skinny is also not interchangeable with slim or slender - skinny has negative connotations and it is not flattering to be called skinny. You may not realise this, and that's okay, but pay attention to the media and this will be become very apparant. Female celebrities who are being accused of being anorexic are called 'skinny', not slender. There has been a noticeable shift in how the media deals with weight - no longer are overweight celebrities derided for their size (which is good), they are called 'real women'. Those who are not overweight are, by definition, not 'real' and it is open season to criticise them. Similarly, it is considered okay to say to someone 'you are so lucky you can eat whatever you want and still stay so skinny', or 'you are so skinny, are you anorexic', and this is not considered rude and tactless. On the other hand, if one were to say 'you are so fat, have you considered dieting' would not be acceptable. The double standard about how weight is dealt with in the media and in society is real and unfair.
And I can't for one minute agree that if someone put their picture up and a response came back 'well, don't you look heavy' that they would not be offended. The point of putting pictures up is not so others can make remarks about how they look, but so we can see what people look like because we are supposed to be friends. I think any comment about how a person looks, unless it is specifically a compliment, is completely inappropriate.
And in the spirit of the thread, here's a recent picture of me, on my trip to Europe. Yes, it was summer
[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0VwDjAnUZskqkqbB7vxQvvLTXNHjuj6L6vfTrA7d6!aIKs6ewJ Q1j1mDhs!h!aoI3!E0KZ3IFjie7N4KRd9wObc1iu*qhs7RsSHq Om1pAi4xxiZpyvckQTDHZ*8loSO4U/9th%20London%20DSCF0136.JPG?dc=4675493510922844721[/img]