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1. How do the "role players" select spells for memorizing before rests? Naturally, their mages and priests know nothing about needed spells after the rest.
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Well, how did you select spells the first time you played through BGII? You didn't know what you would be faceing next, but you (should have been) selected spells based on what was generally useful.
Most of the time its fairly obvious what a party is going to face. EG, dungeon with orcs outside will probably have orcs in it. The graveyard will probably have undead. The defiled temple with shades outside will probably have lots of shades inside. Its not exactly rocket science to figure out whats comming up in most situations.
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2. How do the "role players" survive Kangaxx? Let us see the "role playing" course of events. Knowing nothing about the danger, the party of a "role player" enters carelesly Kangaxx tomb. It kills Kangaxx the Lich and then gets imprisoned by Kangaxx the Demilich. Okay, restart. Now, the "role playing" party has to enter the Kangaxx tomb carelesly again because the party knows nothing about the danger now! The party gets imprisoned again. And so on. Because there is no reason to give up - why, the party knows nothing about the danger! - the "role player" will play the fight until the hell freezes.
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This goes back to my first point. A role player wouldn't 'carelessly' enter a tomb, they would enter with caution, most likely prepared to face something undead (what else would be in an old tomb?), if they have his bones a 'role player' goes "Hmm, this is some sort of undead monster that wasn't destroyed when atleast two liches teamed up to give it a try, maybe I should be prepared for something".
"roleplaying" does not mean you have to act like a moron, which is what you seem to be makeing it out as.