I am the biggest anti-spammer. Be glad that johnny is not around for a change, you will see enough of him when he gets back. He probably realised he was becoming part of the furniture and decided to take a tactical break. It worked cos people made threads for him like "I miss you johnny". Sly beer-over-guzzling, lazy bastard 
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Too set in his ways to ever relate
If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray
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