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Old 08-17-2004, 02:24 AM   #1
Chewbacca
Zartan
 

Join Date: July 18, 2001
Location: America, On The Beautiful Earth
Age: 51
Posts: 5,373
Sunglass Man

If your not in the mood for a sad story, please skip this post!

Twila.

She is a plump domesticated short hair kitty with a bright orange coat. My mom christened her the Great Pumpkin kitty, because she has such a round shape. She is a sweetheart of a cat, very gentle with a loud motor of a purr. Without fail when I crawl into bed every night, she crawls out from under it, jumps up, and cuddles right up next to me and I fall asleep to her deep steady purr.

Two years ago, at the tender age of six she developed problems breathing and we discovered she had a growth in her lung. The vet said she probably would not live 6 months. This was two years ago. Medication seemed to help the breathing problem and the tumor did not grow and may have actually gone away. We call it a miracle and count our blessings everyday that our sweet and lovable friend remains with us.

About a week ago it dawned on us that she was not eating much and seemed a bit under the weather. Soon after we discovered a lump on her left side, right on the rib cage. On Saturday we went to the vet and recieved a bombshell- A new, more agressive tumor is developing in her chest. The vet was ready to put her asleep right then and there!!!

OMG that is not what I expected and I could barely utter a protest as my wife and I burst into tears. The vet left us alone for a moment.

Twila has been acting sick and we can feel the lump on her chest...but she still curled up on the bed the night before purring like a kitten. Just two days before she jumped up on my brother's lap for purrs and pets. Just a day before that she was batting at the cat dancer like she was 6 months old! My wife, Donna, and I could not accept that she was suffering so much at that moment to warrant putting her into the eternal sleep immediately.

The vet came back in and we express our concerns. He agreed that if Twila's quality of life, her comfort level was still fairly good that it would be humane and correct to keep her with us a while longer.

We discussed options and it turns out the vet will come to our house when the time comes that we determine that Twila is truly suffering.

Twila hates the cat crate! She fights tooth and nail whenever we get ready to go to the vet using the "four paws out wide" manuvuer. When it was time to leave the vet I lifted the crate on the examination table and opened it to put her in, she walk right over and got right in on her own!!!! I took this as a venerable syncronicity- a sign that Twila's time has yet to come!

The vets says she may only have days, perhaps a week- maybe, just maybe, a month. This will be the toughest and saddest decision I have ever made. I have lost pets to cars, and had a few disappear, but never have I had to choose for it to happen. If we decide to soon, we will unnecessarily and prematurely end her life. If we decide to late, we will unnecessarily prolong her suffering.

I am unsure how she will behave if( wishful thinking if- the vet says "when") it develops to suffering stage. Will she still purr and jump up on the bed? Will she just lay there in pain? As I type this I realize perhaps I am just adding needless worry to an already shitty situation. Perhaps I should just take things as they come and have faith I can handle the situation. If only she would give as clear a sign as she did when we left the vets as it is as much her decision, in abstract, as it is ours.


Whew! I feel a lil bit better having written that.

Thanks for reading.

[ 08-17-2004, 02:29 AM: Message edited by: Chewbacca ]
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