I have tried both - but havent finished Aerie yet, though my character has "known her"- ahem.
Both seemed easy to screw up - I saved frequently early on for Aerie. She is an unhappy thing - and I was worried the wrong answer would end the fling. In fact one time I spoke a little harsh to her - and off she went, equipment and all.
I used Shadow Keeper to change both their pictures - Jaheira is definately a two bagger - blech.
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