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For those of you who have never heard of him, Gordon Strachan is a bit of a UK football legend, both as a player and more recently as a manager. I won't bore you with his life history (Google if you must), but what I really like is his surreal and sometimes downright funny comments on "the beautiful game". Below are some collected gems......

Gordon Strachan on Wayne Rooney : Its an incredible rise to stardom, at
17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran
Eriksson.

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the
England squad? Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish.

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the
right man to turn things around? Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought
I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should
have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry
one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were
eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe.
I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the
Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

On Augustine Delgado:
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a
yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my
priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to
get your first win under your belt, won't you? Strachan: You're right.
It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one.
It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. 'll go home,
become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take
it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm
going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man,
down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were
better than you today? Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one
out there....