YES!!!! got it fixed. The computer does actually have cable select, so I tried putting it in both the free IDE ports (the middle one and the top one) and still no joy. So, after trying everything I could think of I decided that I was pissed of enough to justify a call to tech support. Now after about 20minutes onto them (damn foreigners, no offense intended to anyone out there, but you know what its like when you get someone who cant understand you properly) This is what I was told, and did, AND IT WORKED! I left it in the top IDE connection since that is the main one since it isnt used because I have SATA HDDs, and went into BIOS, I then pressed Alt+E and then Alt+F alternately 5 times and rebooted, then everything worked, it was installed without me having to do anything, and was in the device manager and had a letter name etc.
So my question out of all of this is: what the hell does Alt+E and Alt+F alternately for 5 times do? (Well I suppose I know what it did on this occasion but what does it do in general, if you get my drift
)
Oh and btw thanks for all the suggestions etc.