Some old ones from Kermit Schafer (Creater of Bloopers):
Football Comentator: "Anderson has injured his nose. It looks like the same nose he injured last year."
TV Host: "I'm sorry, out time is up...This is your storyteller leaving Don Quixote sitting on his ass till next week."
Commercial: "Visit our Coin-o-Matic Laundry. All ladies who drop off their clothing will receive prompt attention."
Commercial: "So try 7-UP...You will recognize it with big the seven and U-P after!"
Newscaster: "The collision of the two boats was due to the fog, which was thicker than sea poop."
Sportscaster: " McPhearson is anxious to make a good showing. He wants to play in the worst way, and that's exactly what he's doing!"
Weatherman: "That's the weather for Anchorage. Now let me take a leak out the window to see if it's freezing outside the studio."
Football Comentator: "He's at the 30... the 40... the 50... look at that sonovabitch run!"
Sportscaster: "Yankee catcher Yogi Berra was hit on the head by a pitched ball. X-rays of the head showed nothing."
Game Show Contestant: "I work for Pittsburgh Gas Company. At least 90% of the people in Pittsburgh have gas."
Station Promo: "Stay tuned for Charles Dicken's immortal classic, A Sale of Two Titties."
Cooking Show: "Today we are going to make a spice cake with special emphasis on how to flour your nuts."
Mark