[Vaskez]

ROFL! I have trouble believing that all the George Bush and Dan Quayle ones are true! Are they really? Also, some of those were MEANT to be a joke like the Henry Ford one!

Finally, I've heard the lawyer ones before, here are a few more. All supposedly actually occurred, of course taken out of context here:

Lawyer: How many children did she have?
Witness: 3
Lawyer: How many were boys?
Witness: none
Lawyer: Were there any girls?


Lawyer: And the date of conception of your baby was March 10th?
Witness: yes
Lawyer: And what were you doing at this time?

Lawyer: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
Doctor: All my autopsies were performed on dead people.

Laywer: And you are sure Mr. Denington was dead at the time you started the autopsy?
Doctor: No, he was sitting on the bed wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Lawyer: And you are sure Mr. Smith was dead at the time of the autopsy?
Doctor: yes
Lawyer: How can you be sure?
D: There was no pulse or breathing and the body was cold.
L: But could he not have been alive nevertheless?
D: No, his heart had stopped beating hours ago.
L: But he could possible have still been alive?
D: No his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk.
L: And there is no chance that he could have been alive?
D: Well I suppose there is a chance he could be alive and practicing law somewhere.

Lawyer: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Lawyer: How many times have you commited suicide?

Lawyer: Did he kill you?

Lawyer: Could you please described the individual?
Witness: Yes, he was about 5'10" and had a beard.
Lawyer: Waw this a man or a woman?

Lawyer: You were there until the time you left, is this true?

[ 02-04-2004, 09:42 PM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]