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Taken from a Mad Magazine...
-> The Highlight of your bloody reign of terror involved highjacking a guy on a 10-speed and forcing him to take you to the mall.
-> Your primary method of intimidation is "Chinese Helium Torture."
"So now you will talk! Okay???"
"Bite me, Goofball!"
-> You've been known to infiltrate the nerve center of major international corporations for the sole purpose of pressing all the elevator buttons.
-> You are known to relieve the boredom associated with prologed captivity by treating your political hostages to a day at the track.
"DEATH TO THE FIVE HORSE AND ALL IT REPRESENTS!!!"
"C'mon Number Five!!!"
-> All your covert training sessions are held in the plastic ball bin at Discovery Zone.
-> Your group issues a press release taking credit for filling the coin return slots of midtown pay phones with shaving cream.
"Next time, unless you meet our demands, Krazy Glue!"
-> You once spent three days in a trash can outside a manhattan apartment building in an unsuccessful bid to "pie" Salman Rushdie.
-> You finance your subversive activities by selling cookies door to door.
"Maybe you are preferring our Peanut Butter Belly Bombs?!?"
-> Instead of the appearance on America's Most Wanted you counted on, the video of your crime against humanity airs on Bloopers, Bleepers, and Practical Jokes.
-> Yours is the only terrorist organization with a big lovable mascot named "Bucky."
(c) MAD magazine, 2003
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