just odn't lend it. what little friendship it sounds like there is it's not worth the headache. tell her you've had enough of being put off by her and her children.
i did that to someone and she actually came crawling back because i was the only person to tolerate her. i am doing much better not letting her walk all over me again. but you have to decide when enough is enough and when to tell her to get out of your life. you can control how much stress ppl put on you, especially if they call you "friend"
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*peek-a-boo*
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