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>>Here are real classified ads that didn't quite work!
>>1. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children
>>$2.00.
>>2. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
>>large
>>drawers.
>>
>>
>>
>>3. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra
>>pair to
>>take home, too.
>>4. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully
>>by hand.
>>
>>
>>
>>5. No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will
>>make it
>>really repellent.
>>6. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>7. Dog for sale: eats anything and is especially fond of children.
>>8. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
>>
>>
>>
>>9. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.
>>Swim in
>>the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
>>10. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
>>
>>
>>
>>11. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
>>Automatically burns toast.
>>12. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable
>>that lots
>>of women wear nothing else.
>>
>>
>>
>>13. Stock up and save. Limit: one.
>>14. For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>15. Man, honest. Will take anything.
>>16. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,
>>you'll
>>never go anywhere again.
>>
>>
>>
>>17. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
>>18. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
>>
>>
>>
>>19. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
>>20. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
>>
>>
>>
>>21. Sign in a cosmetician's shop window: Complete skin, nail, and
>>hair
>>removal service.
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