[Zuvio]

Originally posted by Arvon: Hello, I'm Chint-Chim Cootieface In Dave Pilkey's "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants," the "evil Professor" forces everyone to assume new names. You will follow orders! Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a=poopsie, b=lumpy, c=buttercup, d=gidget, e=crusty, f=greasy, g=fluffy, h=cheeseball, i=chim-chim, j=stinky, k=flunky, l=boobie, m=pinky, n=zippy, o=goober, p=doo-fus, q=slimy, r=loopy, s=snotty, t=tootie, u=dorkey, v=squeezit, w=oprah, x=skipper, y=dinky, z=zsa-zsa. Use the second letter of your last name for the first half of your new last name: a=apple, b=toilet, c=giggle, d=burger, e=girdle, f=barf, g=lizard, h=waffle, i=cootie, j=monkey, k=potty, l=liver, m=banana, n=rhino, o=bubble, p=hamster, q=toad, r=giz-zard, s=pizza, t=gerbil, u=chicken, v=pickle, w=chuckle, x=tofu, y=gorilla, z=stinker. Use the fourth letter of your last name to find the second half of your new last name: a=head, b=mouth, c=face, d=nose, e=tush, f=breath, g=pants, h=shorts, i=lips, j=honker, k=butt, l=brain, m=tushie, n=chunks, o=hiney, p=biscuits, q=toes, r=buns, s=fanny, t=sniffer, u=sprinkles, v=kisser, w=squirt, x=humperdink, y=brains, z=juice. For example, George W. Bush's new name is "Goober Chickenshorts." And remember, adds Patti Paul, "Children laugh an average of 146 times a day, adults laugh an average of four times." (Haha, I knew that!) I came out to be Lumpy Cootiebrain...

Please use white lines the next time! 'Twas quite confusing!

Chim-chim Bubblesprinkles! Heh, cool!