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Timber Loftis · 08-18-2003, 04:45 PM

Thanks for the kudos Thoran, but some of it is hilarious. I almost [img]graemlins/1drinkspit.gif[/img] when I read this bit:
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Now for the important matter of butt cleavage. Most straight guys have a pretty good sense of when it is appropriate and when it's not. On the basketball court, appropriate. At your niece's christening, not. Some situations virtually demand an obligatory amount of butt crack, such as working under the sink. The key is knowing when.

The Straight Guy has a simple rule: If you're repairing something, butt crack is acceptable. For formal situations, it usually isn't. For guys with a tendency to forget when you're allowed to crack-flash, match the situation to what you have in your hand. If it's

For home repair,
You can bare.
Champagne glass,
Cover ass.

It's really that simple. However, as with all matters of etiquette, there are always exceptions. I ran into one at a buddy's funeral -- I mean wedding. I was in a rented tuxedo, and a lot of straight guys will know that when the occasion calls for formal wear, you don't want to be showing a lot of butt crack. But then my buddy asked me if I'd hotwire this backhoe, because one of his ex-wives had shown up drunk at the wedding even though he told her to stay away. And he wanted me to fire up that backhoe so we could toss her Honda Accord (formerly his Honda Accord) around a little bit.

Standing there in my tux, you can imagine what I said to this odd request. I said, shitchess! Most folks throw rice at weddings; we were gonna throw a ricer. So I crawled up on that backhoe and got to work, and I imagine I showed my share of butt crack there. But man, it was worth it. I been to so many weddings where the highlight is tossing a garter or a bouquet, but you shoulda seen the guests when a Honda went sailing by. Anyway, this exertion did have an effect on my rented tux, and the rental place was really nasty after I mailed it back to them -- after wearing it as I fled to Cancun. With my buddy. In his luggage. We still can't go back to Nebraska. Got a warrant out or something.

08-18-2003, 04:45 PM	#5
Timber Loftis 40th Level Warrior Join Date: July 11, 2002 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 11,916	Thanks for the kudos Thoran, but some of it is hilarious. I almost [img]graemlins/1drinkspit.gif[/img] when I read this bit: __________________________________________________ Now for the important matter of butt cleavage. Most straight guys have a pretty good sense of when it is appropriate and when it's not. On the basketball court, appropriate. At your niece's christening, not. Some situations virtually demand an obligatory amount of butt crack, such as working under the sink. The key is knowing when. The Straight Guy has a simple rule: If you're repairing something, butt crack is acceptable. For formal situations, it usually isn't. For guys with a tendency to forget when you're allowed to crack-flash, match the situation to what you have in your hand. If it's For home repair, You can bare. Champagne glass, Cover ass. It's really that simple. However, as with all matters of etiquette, there are always exceptions. I ran into one at a buddy's funeral -- I mean wedding. I was in a rented tuxedo, and a lot of straight guys will know that when the occasion calls for formal wear, you don't want to be showing a lot of butt crack. But then my buddy asked me if I'd hotwire this backhoe, because one of his ex-wives had shown up drunk at the wedding even though he told her to stay away. And he wanted me to fire up that backhoe so we could toss her Honda Accord (formerly his Honda Accord) around a little bit. Standing there in my tux, you can imagine what I said to this odd request. I said, shitchess! Most folks throw rice at weddings; we were gonna throw a ricer. So I crawled up on that backhoe and got to work, and I imagine I showed my share of butt crack there. But man, it was worth it. I been to so many weddings where the highlight is tossing a garter or a bouquet, but you shoulda seen the guests when a Honda went sailing by. Anyway, this exertion did have an effect on my rented tux, and the rental place was really nasty after I mailed it back to them -- after wearing it as I fled to Cancun. With my buddy. In his luggage. We still can't go back to Nebraska. Got a warrant out or something. __________________