[Cerek the Barbaric]

Melusine - I'll have to agree with Hunter on this issue. Bullies generally fall into two categories: 1) they have an inferiority complex themselves, so they pick on kids smaller and weaker to make themselves feel "big", or 2) they are just a$$holes - plain and simple - who like to shove other people around.

In either case, the LAST thing they expect (or want) is for their victim to turn around and bust them in the mouth. Once you stand up to a bully, he/she knows that you are no longer an "easy target". As Hunter said, you often end up becoming friends with them, because the bully now has a new-found respect for you. Of course, this doesn't work every time and you certainly have to choose your battles carefully.

I was very small all through school and I was "picked on" by bullies many times. I didn't have the size or strength to stand up to them, so I had to endure a lot. I learned other ways to deal with them. One method that worked for me was to tell a mutual friend that I wasn't go to fight the person because I knew he could kick my a$$ and I didn't need to actually get the bruises to prove it. That worked in a couple of cases....but looking back now, I can see there were a couple of times I should have just knocked the ever-lovin' daylights out of bully.

Because I never stood my ground in high school, it has made it hard for me to do it as an adult too. I still struggle with standing up for myself (ain't that a shock [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] ) and I really don't like to have confrontations. Now I realize there were a couple of times when I should have thrown the first punch and then just took my lumps - or hopefully give them out. Even if I had lost, I would have had more respect for myself afterwards.

As for adult bullies on the job...absolutely, you should bust their lip... IF it can be done without jeapordizing your job (maybe catch them way from work ). I had a coworker at my former job that decided he didn't like me for whatever reason, and he went out of his way to be a total jerk everyday. I put up with it as long as I could, then I finally went to the boss about it. That eased the problem temporarily, but it didn't last. So I would go to the boss to report each new incident as it occurred. I was afraid of a physical confrontation because I didn't want to lose my job {and the boss had said before that if there was ever a fight in his department, BOTH people would be fired with no questions asked}. But it eventually got to the point that going to the boss wasn't doing any good any more. So I went into his office one last time and told him "This is the last time I'm bringing this problem to you. The next time he does something, I'm gonna take care of it myself." That was the last time I had a problem with him. Fortunately, it didn't have to come to blows, but it did come very close..and I was serious about taking care of business myself. This guy and I got in a heated argument one day and almost came to blows that time. He was bigger and stronger than me (aren't they always [img]graemlins/dontknowaboutyou.gif[/img] ) and I didn't know if I would come out on top or not...but I was gonna make sure he knew he had been in a fight before it was over with.

It's like Olivian Newton John once sang....sometimes, you just have to Get Physical!