Hmmmm...
Two chickens are being cooked in an oven.
One says : "Damn, it's hot in here sin't it ?!"
Second one freaks out : "HOLY SH*T ! A TALKING CHICKEN !"
And another one :
Jesus sees a prostitute who is about to be stoned by an angry mob. He says : "Hey, I did it before, I know how to handle that situation !".
He runs between the mobs and the girl and says loudly : "Hey guys and girls ! Aren't you ashame ? Hear me good : Anyone who never sinned may throw the first stone ! C'mon !"
The mob stops and they all start looking at their own feet...then, from nowhere, comes an old little lady with a huge stone. She yells : "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and throws the huge stone directly in the face of the prostitute who falls immediatly dead.
Then Jesus looks at the old little lady, and very exasperated says : "Mom, sometimes you piss me off..."
Last one for today :
Jesus is walking over the water (as ever). A friend of him who is swimming next to him, looks at him and says : "You're stupid, the water is cool...".
ENJOY