Post your little johnnie jokes here. *ONLY* little johnnie please.

WARNING: some might be PG13.

Here's one of mine:

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The teacher was telling her class words and asking them to make sentences which would include those words. Little johnnie was very eager to answer but knowing him, the teacher was reluctant to ask him one. Finnaly when she could no longer ignore him, she asked him to make a sentence with the word "beautiful" thinking that no way can he come up with anything dirty with this word. To be on a more safe side she asked him to make a sentence containing the word "beautiful" twice. Little johnnie answered "Yesterday my sister told my parents she was pregnant, and my father said: beautiful, that's ****ing beautiful!"
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Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful!'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".

That one wins hands down.

In human biology, the teacher asks the class to name off various bodily functions. She (reluctantly) asks Johnny.
"Urinate, miss."
"Very good Johnny. Now can you tell the class what it means?"
"Sure miss. My dad says urinate. But you'd be a ten if your tits were bigger."

After considerable time trying to edit the joke to at least pg13, I have discovered that I can't, and so cannot post it here.

A teacher tells her class, on a Thursday, that if they correctly identify the originator of a quote, then they can go home early for the day, and for the weekend.

The first quote she says is "Ask not what your country can do for you---but what you can do for your country." Little Johnny, of course, knows the answer and raises his hand, frantically waving it for attention. The teacher, though, calls on a little girl who said "John F. Kennedy," and is allowed to go home.

The teacher then says "Four score and seven years ago," and once more, Johnny knows the answer. He raises his hand, and flails about even more than before, only to have another little girl raise her hand, be called upon, and answer "Abraham Lincoln."

Johnny is getting pretty mad, since he's not going to be allowed to go home, and mutters aloud "I wish those b@*#%$s would shut the hell up!"

The teacher, hearing Johnny says "Who said that?!"

"Bill Clinton, now I'm going home!"

here is another one:

The kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then told them to tell her what they did during the summer. The first little one said he went to see his Nana.The teacher said: No, No, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grownup word. The next little one said she went for a trip on a choo-choo. The teacher again said: No, No, you went on a trip on a train. That's the grown up word. Then the teacher asked little Johnny what he did during the summer. He proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read. He puffed out his chest and in a very adult way replied: Winnie the Shit.