A man is dying of cancer......

His son asked him, " Dad, why do you keep telling
people you're dying of AIDS? "
Answer: " So when I'm dead no one will dare to touch
your mom!"

*******************************************
Three Feelings:

Q: What's the difference between stress, tension
and panic?

A: Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when
girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

********************************************
Chinese Adam and Eve:

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise....
because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake!

[ 03-11-2005, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: Arvon ]

Heh, some great ones there. The Adam and Eve one was the best.

A big brown bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to big brown bears in bars in Billings.

The big brown bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent big brown bears in bars in Billings."

The big brown bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, there's gonna be trouble!" The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully big brown bears in bars in Billings."

The big brown bear goes to the end of the bar, and, with a big roar, bites the head off a woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to billigerent, bully big brown bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on DRUGS."


You're gonna love this.......


The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."

Like the 2nd one. very funny. LOL :D

I like the last one. It really made me laugh. ROFL.