Ironworks Gaming Forum - Why the English language is so difficult to learn! :D

> >>1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
> >>
> >>2) The farm was used to produce produce.
> >>
> >>3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
> >>
> >>4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
> >>
> >>5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> >>
> >>6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
> >>
> >>7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
> >>present the present.
> >>
> >>8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
> >>
> >>9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> >>
> >>10) I did not object to the object.
> >>
> >>11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> >>
> >>12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
> >>
> >>13) They were too close to the door to close it.
> >>
> >>14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
> >>
> >>15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
> >>
> >>16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
> >>
> >>17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> >>
> >>18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
> >>
> >>19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
> >>
> >>20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
> >>
> >>21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> >>
> >>Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is neither egg in
> >>eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> >English
> >>muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
> >>
> >>Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
> >>
> >>We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
> that
> >>quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
> >>neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is! it that writers write
> but
> >>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
> >>
> >>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of boot beeth.
> >>
> >>One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
> >>
> >>One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
> >not
> >>one amend.
> >>
> >>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
> >>what do you call it, an odd or an end?
> >>
> >>If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
> >>
> >>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
> >>
> >>Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
> >asylum
> >>for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
> >>play at a recital?
> >>
> >>Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> >>
> >>Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> >>
> >>How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
> a
> >>wise guy are opposites?
> >>
> >>You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
> house
> >>can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
> >out
> >>and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
> >>
> >>English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
> >>creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
> >>
> >>That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
> lights
> >>are out, they are invisible.
> >>
> >>And why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?"

[ 07-27-2004, 08:26 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]