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-   General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005) (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=28)
-   -   Old words, but words of wisdom nonetheless :D (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90126)

Vaskez 05-18-2004 08:16 AM

Yeah so you've probably heard them all but let them serve as a reminder :D these things needs refreshing in our minds :D


> How many men does it take to open a beer?
> None. It should be opened when she brings it.
>
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> Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
> woman?
> Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
> machine will probably never
> be able to support you.
>
--------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do women have smaller feet than men?
> It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
> them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you know whe n a woman is about to say
> something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
> me.."
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> How do you fix a woman's watch?
> You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
>
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> Why do men fart more than women?
> Because women can't shut up long enough to
> build up the required pressure.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> If your dog is barking at the back door and your
> wife is yelling at the
> front door, who do you let in first?
> The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him
> in.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
> A woman who won't do what she's told.
>
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> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Why do men die before their wives?
> They want to.
>
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> Women will never be equal to men until they can
> walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
> gut, and still think they are sexy.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
> Then God created Man and rested.
> Then God created Woman.
> Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
>
>

Raistlin Majere 05-18-2004 08:39 AM

Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Harkoliar 05-18-2004 08:40 AM

Quote:

> How do you know whe n a woman is about to say
> something smart?
> When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
> me.."
i wonder.. :D

Quote:

> I married a Miss Right.
> I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>
-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
> a woman's sex drive by 90%.
> It's called a Wedding Cake.
hillarious!

Raistlin Majere 05-18-2004 09:02 AM

Quote:


>>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Thats my favorite :D

Vaskez 05-18-2004 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Raistlin Majere:
Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Cool, I was just covering myself from the inevitable "these are old" and "heard them before" posts :D

Raistlin Majere 05-18-2004 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Vaskez:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Raistlin Majere:
Words of wisdom indeed!! Hadnt actually heard any of them before, so I got quite a chuckle from them. BTW, find a good place to hide, and stay there for a while [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cool, I was just covering myself from the inevitable "these are old" and "heard them before" posts :D </font>[/QUOTE]yes, well, Im young, so I havent heard most of these fossilised jokes and such :D [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Vaskez 05-18-2004 11:47 AM

I hadn't heard many of them either, just a few

arjen 05-18-2004 11:55 AM

(Edited by Ziroc: no. )

[ 05-18-2004, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Ziroc ]

Vaskez 05-18-2004 01:58 PM

that one's a bit harsh - this is supposed to be a joke thread, not a bash women thread, suggest you delete that one

SomeGuy 05-18-2004 04:58 PM

Heh, funny ones I suppose. Heard a few before.


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