I know its a bit umm.. on the borderline here. If you mods feel that this is not appropriate in a family forum go ahead and delete it (or tell me and ill delete this post). as usual i got this from my email. cheers!
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Message: It's been known for years that sex is
good exercise, but until
recentlynobody had made a scientific study of the
caloric expenditure of different
sexual activities. Now, for the first time in
the Western World, here are
the true caloric benefits of sex.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................... 12 Calories
Without consent.................... 187 Calories
EDIT: pls do note the "without consent" part is not "rape" but rather a partner trying to get his/her partner in a mood by removing his/her clothes. I just wanted to clarify this bit since there was a few misunderstanding by some members.

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories (I can't imagine how
they do this!)
Wheelbarrow.......................... .. 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories (anyone knows how to do
this?)

ORGASM:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately............816 Calories

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over.............................Death

[ 03-24-2004, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: Harkoliar ]

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

Heh :D

[ 03-23-2004, 04:10 AM: Message edited by: GokuZool ]

LOL, hilarious!

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With consent....................... 12 Calories
Without consent.................... 187 Calories

:D

[img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] LOL, nice one Hark.

Hm... I'd tell you right now how you do some of those things, but I'm not going to be responsible for rendering someone Impure. I will say this, though.
69 standing up would burn relatively wayyyy more calories than lying down.

You think that's hilarious? [img]graemlins/idontagreeatall.gif[/img]
That tells me more about you than I want to know.
Edited to remove puke smiley that I find wholly appropriate but will probably be considered offensive :rolleyes:

[ 03-23-2004, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Melusine ]

Sounds rather akward, to me. ;)

Great one Hark! Gave me a few chuckles!

Trying to find the G-Spot after a dozen cans of beer..... 1000 calories, but in the end not actually possible.
Falling asleep between her legs after drinking same quantity of alcohol... 0 calories.

[ 03-23-2004, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: The Hierophant ]

Well sleeping does burn calories, Hiero ;) But maybe the rough-up afterwards ("You bastard! Why did you fall asleep") will burn you a lot more.. hum-hum.. calories :D