Welcome post all your jokes here and we all can share a laugh [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

There was the duck and he walked into a bar. Duck said to the bartender "Have any grapes?" "Sorry we all out." The duck left and came back the next day.

"Have any grapes" "Sorry we all out." Next day "Have any grapes" "I told you sir we are all out" Next day "Have any grapes." "We don't serve grapes here so shoo!" Next day "Have any grapes?" "Dammit I told you we don't have and *bleep* grapes here you dumb *bleep* F*bleep*ked up Duck! Next time you come here I'll nail your *bleep*kin beak to the bar!" The duck was quite shocked! The duck stayed quiet and asked "Have any nails?" "No" "Have any grapes?"

The next day there was recently dug up spot behind the bar.

ROFLMAO!

this is my joke.

two dwarves win the lottery and decide they want to enjoy themselves so they get a prostitute and a room each. The first dwarf is annoyed because he cant get an erection but all he can hear in the next room is 1-2-3-4 ahh, 1-2-3-4 ahh. So the next morning the second dwarf asks the first dwarf how his night was and he says, it was crap, i couldnt even get an erection; yours sounded good though, the second dwarf then replied, mine was even worse i couldnt even get on the bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[img]graemlins/firedevil.gif[/img]

Where do you get this things guys?

Here is mine:

Why does a chicken goes over the street?Becuase he wants to come on the other side of the street....haha

iv got more but most of them are rude!!

The Saloon doors spring open and a big badass cowboy enters yelling:
"Who the hell here is John Smith!"
A thin man stands up: "That's me"
"You goddamn motherf****"
The cowboy goes up to him punches him in the stomach, knocks him out with an uppercut and leaves the Saloon.
The barkeeper and some patrons try to wake him up again and succeed 10 minutes later. He smiles: "I sure got him"
"Huh"
"I ain't John Smith"

I'm Saddam.
Saddam I am.
I do not like you,
Uncle Sam.

Would you like
to bomb Iran?
We'll sell you weapons,
despite the ban.

I would not like to bomb Iran!
Praise be to Allah, and Koran!
Those weapons are
against convention...

Nevermind Geneva,
pay no attention!
We hate Iran,
it's our contention.
We have no qualm,
no apprehension!

I'll give this task
to Ibrahim.
He'll make a plan!
He'll plot a scheme!


Business as usual
with your regime.
My inner circle
is full of turds.
Is it any surprise
that we'd gas the Kurds?
We knew you gassed them
in '88.
We weren't concerned
'til you raided Kuwait.

You caused my invasion
to be abated,
I'm now on
your list of
most hated.
Alright, you win
I'll withdraw.
I'll also kill
my son-in-law.

With so little blood
spilled on
your soil,
your plot was much
too easy to foil.

Could this war
have been for
oil?
What is this sound?
What is this treason?
Don't mind me,
I'm the voice
of reason.
Now you've started
another war,
in time for
the election of
2004.

We won this war
without a hitch!
You hippies have
no right to bitch!

But won't this war
make Bechtel rich?
Who would you
hire to repair
Iraq?
Germany? Russia?
Or Jacques Chirac?
This debate is
tedious and may
go on forever.
To document it
in rhyme
is a tremendous
endeavor.
Perhaps it's best
to let it die.
Justification is
in the
beholder's eye.

What will
the media report
without a war?
Real news is such
a dreadful chore.

Shark attacks,
SARS, invasion
from Mars.

Terrorism,
sports cars, and
Hollywood stars.

Until we declare
war on
North Korea,
we'll have to
settle for this
journalistic
diarrhea.
This discourse
could go on, but
what's the use?
It's just a tribute
to Dr. Seuss


LOL

gee... I didn't get it. every single one of them. :(

Ok the first post my joke about the duck.

The duck wanted to see if the bartender was bluffing or not and if the bartender didn't the duck would then be humilating the bartender ontop of that asking for grapes again. The duck paid for that with his life.

Dwarf joke I don't get.

Xen's self explantory.

Sprirts Forever ...........I am not even going to make a comment about that. I didn't read it all. Since I rarely read anything that long except in books!

P.S. How do you find your very very first post?

P.S.2. I HAVE 800 posts WOO

There was this little boy on the bus. He said loudly "If my mom was a girl cheetah and my dad a boy cheetah they would have me a little boy cheetah." He said again. "If my mom was a GIRL elephant and my dad a BOY elephant they would have me a little boy elephant."

The little young chap was coming up with diffrent animals. He was on a field trip to a mueseum in New York while they were in Kentucky. He was going on and on for many hours. The bus driver was getting annoyed and stopped the bus. And loudly said "What if your father is GAY and your mother a PROSTITUTE? The little kid was silent then smiled and said "Bus Driver"