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-   -   divorced parents (http://www.ironworksforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=85892)

Cristian 05-11-2003 02:08 AM

my parents has recently got divorced and im so sad now it feels so strange to come home to the house when my dad aint there anymore:( now i live with my mom and only meet my dad 3 days every other week. im sad and feel uncomftorable i really want both my dad and my mom in the same house. and now my mom has met an new guy and is it normal to hate that guy so much as i do?

Stormymystic 05-11-2003 02:16 AM

yes sweety it is normal, if she has a new guy, then the chances are her and your dad will not get back to gether, that is why you hate him
asfor the feelings of saddness, that is normal too, and i will not say they go away, but you learn to accept them

Horatio 05-11-2003 09:09 AM

Yes, it's normal. Just be thankful that you get to see your dad, and make sure you spend your time with him in the most enjoyable way [img]smile.gif[/img]

SomeGuy 05-11-2003 09:14 AM

It's gonna be hard getting over this. It's not gonna be abnormal or anything to hate the guy, I'd be the same way. I'm praying for you, and like Horatio said, be thankful you do get to see him.

DJG 05-11-2003 09:17 AM

I know what you're going through. My Dad's moving to France, I'm going to see him twice and then I'll only see him about 3 times a year.

Just hang in there Cristian, I'm sure you'll eventaully cope. [img]smile.gif[/img]

(That was meant to sound reassuring if it didn't :confused: )

Cristian 05-11-2003 09:22 AM

hehe i dont now what cope means....

Stormymystic 05-11-2003 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cristian:
hehe i dont now what cope means....
<font color=ff00ff> it means that you will deal with it soon sweety</font>

Charlie 05-11-2003 10:19 AM

I really feel for you Cristian, I really do.
It's hard as a youngster (no patronism intended) to see how it all works sometimes.

I'm not going to give any advice other than to say try not to give way to anger and resentment. These are easily chanelled tools, tools of hatred and doubt that can live on and on, they do no one no good.

I had tons to say to you here, I'm sure many others have too. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut though, save to say I honestly understand what you're going through and I'm feeling it with you.

Try your hardest not to give way to hating people. It may be that your mom and dad are happier the way they are now....I dunno son.

Just try to keep your chin up my young friend, try to smile through your tears, hard as it is I know.

The Sun will shine for you again one day........I promise.

Take care.

Cristian 05-11-2003 10:25 AM

thanks ya all its nice that you support me especially thanks to you Charlie.

Charlie 05-11-2003 11:37 AM

You're welcome my friend.

I know this is a well known poem, it's my all time favourite. I think there's something in here for everyone, it's definitely helped me find my way in some very dark times. Maybe you can take something from it too, I hope I'm not being too presumptuous.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


Rudyard Kipling.


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